Sleep

Lefty died today. I was cradling him.

Lefty, my bubba

May 1, 1996 - October 11, 2011

The Boxer

I guess I’m known for having a rather large heart, and the sentimentality to go along with it. This is why my body caves to emotion, and why I will soon be grieving the loss of Lefty.

Lefty had a feeding tube inserted into his nose today because he will not otherwise eat. Some animals walk into the woods and never come back, some vanish without a trace, some have dads who give them feeding tubes in order to muster the courage to say good bye.

I am, obviously, of the latter.

They’re building an Apple Training Center in my building. The jackhammers have been incessant for these past few weeks during the day. I was going to call Steve Jobs to complain. But now he’s gone.

Somehow, I’m connecting the two. The ongoing of progress, in spite of events, and the ongoing of events in spite of progress. Either way you see it, my cat is wearing a backwards lampshade on his head, and is fucking perplexed by it.

I’ve wept eons of tears tonight. For the past, present, and future. For dead dogs and heart attacks, for gray hairs and kittens wearing lampshades. For not being on Facebook. For being googleable. For the inaccuracies inherent. For trying to breathe.