Sneezing is a form of orgasm

…It sounded like a meatball flipped out of the pasta pot and splatting onto the kitchen floor. It was an awkward moment, as we has just been passionately making out when suddenly she had to sneeze. Her nasty snot bomb hit the wall with the aforementioned force. I reeled backward as she invoked the choo part of the a-choo. Her perfume still smelled as pretty as it had in the four hours we had spent in each other’s company before the settled suck face session began. And in the company of the intoxicating and her, her, her, beautiful presence, we had nothing left to do after that sneeze than to watch the loogie slowly slide down right smack in the middle of Conan O’Brian’s face on my 25” Magnavox TV. Eerily, Conan seemed to mind. Me? I fiercely resisted the impulse to sprint toward the Windex and paper towels. Let me think how I can ignore this, I thought. Then, in her beautiful demure meaner, she politely asked for a tissue. I hand her one as she excuses herself to the bathroom, then I take one for myself to mop up the TV screen. I get this creepy feeling that I’m wiping cum off of Emily Post’s face. As in real fast, before she notices.