165 4th St, Four-Faced Liar

Tonight we had a little celebration for J’s B-day. Too bad it was ruined by the fact that I had to express grave disappointment in one of our mutual friends about her sad performance this week. Does anyone believe that all they have to do for a fat paycheck is show up late, leave early and expect their boss to clean up?

So after I “ream” her out – her term, not mine, I stick around to hope that some corrections are implemented. Then I go to J’s B’day party. I end up making friends with J’s BFF’s boyfriend on the simple fact that we both know the old Split Enz song, “Six Months In a Leaky Boat.”

I had to catch a train home. This is a complicated relationship. I want to mark her deeply.

A surfer's toast, by PK

Here’s to swimming with bow-legged women
and to shipworn and seashore shanties.
Here’s to the waves that were always my faves
and to girls who don’t wear panties.
©
- 4-18-09

Thursday night, 63 Carmine St., West Village of Lower Manhattan

Why do I continue to go out to these happy hours on Thursdays when I know I have to slingshot home to Red Bank then rebound back to NYC by 9AM the next Friday morning?

Why? Because it’s beyond fun. Because I’m good at it. And because J. and I usually walk to the train together at the end of the night, culminating in a passionate public kiss on the subway platform. PDA. Ewww? No. Mmmm.

Plus we listen to fucking killer tunes that get us smoking, which leads to more killer tunes and more smoking. A vicious circle.

New best stoner albums of all time (this week): Airborne Toxic Event (mellow) and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (very NYC centric, kind of new wave, hot lead singer, totally LES [lower east side] band with dozens of cool songs under their belt.)

Mind you, these recommendations come from a guy who's from the same town as Monster Magnet, has seen them dozens of times and who knows that they'd probably be indifferent to the above said bands. But I also know Matt Pinfield.

Black Eyed PK

"You're always challenged not to go back to those bad habits in life," will.i.am says. "When you're comfortable living, you sometimes think that, well, I beat it once so I can do it again. But you never really escape the things that haunt you."

Thursday night, 46 Bedford St.

Not a bad night. Somehow J. is back. Thank god she dragged me out of the Village Tavern by hand to remind me what those piercing brown eyes are all about.

Tuesday night, 6th Ave at 4th St.

One of the saddest days at work ever today. Heather’s last day. The girl from the American gothic pic at the holiday party. One of my best friends. We drank beer and smoked cigarettes at an old fashioned Belgian ale house on 4th St. Then we hugged good bye. Then I went out with Tommy and got hammered.

Heather came to my desk today to talk and we did just that. She checked my stitches and noted that the surgeon had left a long thread that might be bothering me. She offered to cut it. That’s fucking sweet. Even though I said that I didn’t want her and a pair of scissors within a mile of my spine.

Nope

I will not give in, I will not submit, I will not dominate, I will not play neutral, I will not risk the impending mental anguish of another lost love. I cannot endure one more 2004, I cannot thrive through another 2005, I cannot stand the fix of another 2006, I cannot eat the heaven of 2007, nor will I recreate a single date from 2008. There are but six constants from one curious point in time—Ann, A, CBS, Dave and Jeffrey. The first 3 are beautiful women who are generally nice to me, the latter 2 are dudes who like cars. Oh, and there’s the Korean liquor store guy who knows I like the Red Sox. I’ve pretty much poisoned myself in order to shed all others from five wickedly horrid days. And I’m speaking guardedly, not altruistically. With defensive intent. On purpose. By discarding charm and embracing the act of debasing. Nancy’s dead, and I’m either dead to everyone else or their dead to me.

Ann, perhaps my most constant of constants (we’ve never met in person, but she is a seriously awesome friend) dropped what might not be a huge surprise intuition bomb a couple of weeks ago. We were talking one morning and she emphasized my inner drive for drama.

To her credit, she kind of has a lock on my inner eye. She’s witness numero uno to todo lo anterior. No one, except maybe Joe and one or two anonymous visitors/commentors/emailers, has the kind of 5-year perspective she has. Via this stupid blog.

Fuck yeah, I tilt toward drama. If not, what else is there to anticipate? I focus on the full moon of every day.

I take drama to the staging point, then either rip open the curtain or raze the set.

What else should one write as others barely skim the words as you drop a few codine pills and stick the purer?

One of my favorite all-time songs ever is Daughter, as performed by Loudon Wainwright III at the end of the movie Knocked Up. There’s some kind of hope inherent in the whole of the song. Not in any one note or chord, or word or phrase, but in the whole of it. Once it trails into silence, you realize you love it for no good reason.

Nape

So there I am, Thursday late afternoon, getting ready to kick it into 5th gear for the evening ahead. Mental clutch engages and I pause for a second to drink in the last moments of visible daylight before we go to work on a concept about a sleep drug as darkness drops down around Manhattan. I feel a sudden flash of warm breath on the back of my bandaged neck, followed within a heartbeat by the enveloping of arms around my chest. It’s J. coiling around me. We talk for a few seconds and she moves in close to raise a cascade of those glimmering locks for me to touch beneath. She shows me a heart-shaped scar on her hairline. The nape of her neck is soft, warm and abounding with sensual potential.

Neigh

According to reliable sources at Wikipedia, WebMD, Google and St. Vincent's Hospital, the drug cocktail I was on as Tuesday turned to Wednesday could kill a horse. According to me, that horse was a pussy.

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