Eye contact

I got nuthin. Maybe an iris a shade less gray...

I have nothing to offer this week as far as keeping up with me is concerned. Not that there’s anyone keeping up with me. Not that there’s anyone concerned.

Camouflaged myself this week in a cloak of visibility. Where eyes can’t find me.

I was loud, boisterous and conspicuous. So that those who listen could hear.

I also apparently happened to utter one of the funniest lines in the history of pharma advertising.

The mere recall of the line still sends Heather into uncontrollable fits of hysterics. At the time of its utterance, I thought she and Alyssa were going to loose all sense of conference call decorum and bark out guttural feminine hyena noises at a telephone thankfully switched on mute.

Personally, I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard while sustaining eye contact with two friends simultaneously ever in my life.

Let’s put it this way: Two very smart people, Heather and Alyssa, almost wet their pants at a smart ass comment I made during a conference call. It made the first half of the week worthwhile. Which is code for saying it was barely bearable.

I don’t know how or why I laughed. I was thinking of Ann. She’s going through the toughest of times. And guess who’s supposed to be in Orlando next weekend?

The second half of the week wasn’t quite as funny, but just as noisy. I’m beginning to realize that volume equals respect.

So I just yell all day (not at people, just in general, as in: “Where’s my pen?!”, “Who has the ad?!”, or the always popular, “Who’s going to get us coffee?—I’ll buy!”)

And when I don’t yell I daydream of silence and plan out periods of quiet time that never happen.

I was actually tapped this week to work on world famous Saatchi CONSUMER CREATIVE—probably because of my newly realized strategy of being conspicuous. Stupidly, they think I’m smart.

I was granted the privilege of taking the elevator all the way to the top floor, just to find that they are just as clueless as we are, but with a sadistic edge.

How sadistic? They asked me to work on their stuff over the weekend. Thanks, bitches!

Does anyone know anything about contact lenses? I don’t. And now I have to be an expert on them. By tomorrow.