Overwhelming

Derailed at an early age. Derailed again at a later age.

So the answer is to go to a doctor. Why? When a train is derailed, does it go to a doctor? No, it gets put back on track. People make sure the track is OK, not the train.

I could barely drive home today. I knew the happiest time of my life was over. And I’m done. I have nothing but motions to look forward to. I promise I will learn from my mistakes. For your sake. I’m scared about the future. I’m incomplete. I’m left like this, like this self-destructive vessel of ever-melting molten wax, ready to drop and melt into the floor where everyone has stomped before, ignored, and nothing’s making sense anymore.

Awkward was not even close to the word.

It was worse than a first date but with the tension of a tenth consecutive pro-longated, 4-hour orgasm. Like being on the porno set with the cameras rolling. Gotta make it happen. Gotta use all the tricks up my sleeve. Gotta swirl her into perfect position. Gotta point her toward the love she’s streaming for.